I haven't been here in years. Literally,years. I am only back because I ran into someone I knew from here on Facebook. She wants her site back so I wanted to see if it was actually here. It wasn't because I couldn't read it. This site makes me sad, and not just because it is a shell of what it once was. I think it is because it is hard to see how far you've come when you are looking ahead or admiring the right now. I knew that when I first started this site, it was a pro-ana site even though I would have said it wasn't. There are so many women that I miss from that time of my life. I hope that they are all OK. Underneath the disease and mental illness that held them captive, they were amazing and strong women. I think what was shocking to me was finding a second site that I had opened called goosebumps and languo. I can't decide if the person who made that site would be proud or ashamed of where I am now. I am leaning toward ashamed. It's the truth. The only thing that mattered back then was being thin. I am certainly not that now. I wish that Xanga would have never died. In a way it didn't. We just moved on to other platforms. It is more a selfish wish. If Xanga would have never died, I would have never cleaned up this site leaving only user friendly fluff. It would represent the journey that is my life. When I tell people that it is possible to heal I can show them every step of the way.

Until the next time I decide to show my face. You know where I am at on WordPress and Facebook.

Interesting. I can apparently still write posts here. I have been seeing stuff about people's subscriptions running out. I honestly miss this place so much. Soullfire's post on wordpress made me feel all nostalgic, but it still feels so empty here.

A letter to the Xanga Team | oburi.

Zakiah dug up some of the contact information for John on the Xanga Team, since the Team seems to have disappeared into the sunset. Here it is for you.

Xanga.com
Xanga Com, Inc
555 8th Avenue # 910
New York, NY 10018 – View Map

john@Xanga.net

Phone: (212) 695-4940

While I’m not much of a phone-talker, I can definitely email up a storm. And that’s exactly what I did:

So you met your fundraising goal and moved some of us to the new WordPress platform. Great. Awesome.

Perhaps you would care to explain why users that’d had Premium accounts before the move still aren’t able to access their accounts. Or why the Xanga Team seems to have disappeared almost immediately after the move. Even Xanga’s Facebook page has gone silent. Seriously, what the fuck is going on?

It’s ridiculous that you’re charging users for the bullshit you’ve “given” us. You’ve completely disabled the communication that had once made Xanga so amazing. We don’t get notifications when someone responds to a comment on a post. Hell, we can’t even reply to people directly from our own posts. We have to open up two windows; one for the dashboard so we can reply, and one for the actual post so we can read the entire comment. We no longer have private messaging, we can’t customize our themes, we literally can’t do ANYTHING that we used to be able to do. And yet you charge us money for this.

You do realize that the basic free WordPress has so much more to offer us, right? While we don’t get private messaging, and I can live with that, really, at least we get notifications and the ability to actually communicate with people. And we can choose from just about any theme or customize our own.

Any legitimate business would have given us a preview of what the new platform would’ve looked like before asking its users for money. Speaking of money, Google says that Xanga has an annual revenue of between $500k-1m. Why on earth would you need users to donate to the platform transition if you’re making that much money?

I can assure you that nearly all of the people that had donated money and remained loyal to Xanga are incredibly dissatisfied with your “product.” I will not be renewing my subscription, nor will the vast majority of your users. Your fundraiser was a scam, plain and simple. You and your team should be disgusted with yourselves. I suggest you all get off your ample asses and do something to fix this.

I urge you all to blow up his email and phone. It may or may not do any good, but at least he’ll know how deeply unsatisfied we all are.

The inability to reply to comments stinks. Thank you for your comments on my posts. I am going to bed now, and I think I'll just cut and paste them here instead of linking them...At least until the Press This button works here; if it ever works here.

Feigned Affections.

Rise Dark Spirit | InkFell.

As Words Dripped From Her Lips | This is a Tale of Two Species. Leah Smithson Presents: The Ishan Project.

This one is not mine, but it is an awesome blog and an awesome project. This particular entry is one of my favorites.

Flower | Feigned Affections.

I Bleed | Feigned Affections.

Still testing

I meant to post the paintings to go with the projections. They are freaky b/c the paintings are life sized.